Help Your Teen Cope
with Dating Dilemmas

Many teens need help understanding their feelings and coping with the pressures of dating. By having calm, nonjudgmental talks with your teen, you can help sort out these issues.

Here are some points to make when talking to your teen:

• People who care for each other respect each other. Dating doesn’t give people a license to intimidate or control each other. Make sure your teen respects other people’s feelings and beliefs. Support your teen if he or she needs help ending a relationship. Tell your teen that no boyfriend or girlfriend has the right to tell him or her what to do.
• Fight fairly. Teach your teen how to resolve conflicts by starting with some basic ground rules, such as no name-calling or swearing. During disagreements, teens need to step back and listen to what the other person is trying to say. Your example in resolving personal conflicts will almost surely be the most powerful influence.
• Sex doesn’t bring love or popularity. Share your values and concerns. Talk about sex as it relates to love, caring, and respect. And let your teen know there are other ways than sex to express affection—holding hands, hugging, and even kissing can express physical closeness. But the truest expressions of genuine affection remain kindness, consideration, and respect. Remind your teen that the safest sex is no sex. Tell him or her that some teens abstain to avoid pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
• Practicing saying no can make it easier when the real time comes. Encourage your teen to practice what he or she would say if pressured to do something he or she doesn’t want to do. In fact, parental advice on resisting peer pressure is a good idea even in the preteen years. Teens who know how to set limits and say "no" may have an easier time expressing themselves when unexpected pressures arise.